An older suitor also offers experiences that are interesting and appealing — like, who wouldn't want to take a weekend trip to go wine-tasting at their favorite winery? In addition to broader perspectives and deeper pockets, dating someone who is older than you are can also make you feel really special.
This person has their eyes on the prize, and sorry, but that prize is not you. This one wants the promotion, the corner office, and the pay raise. While this charming workaholic has the funds for fun dates and nice dinners, they also have limited free time for those fun dates and nice dinners.
This person was the life of the party in college, and they're not giving up that title any time soon. You don't need to settle down right now, so this person is great to date... for now. While you'll probably need to prioritize work and get some sleep eventually, don't worry about that right now — go have fun with your party-hardy sweetheart.
This person is great at being in relationships... because they were just in one. We've all known a rebounder or been on the rebound ourselves, and finding the immediate comfort of another person can sometimes help you heal from your past relationship.
Let's say you've been friends with this person for years and one day, you look at each other and things just feel different. You both feel it and you decide to give dating a shot. So it makes sense that your friendship might change into something more.
Office romances are tricky to navigate, which can make them even more exciting and thrilling. /you might eventually tire of seeing your partner at home and at work, but in the meantime, when you complain about your boss, you know your partner will truly understand.
There's a nice familiarity about this person, but there's also new things to be discovered. You have history together and now you get to make new memories. Perhaps the timing just wasn't right earlier, but either way, it's pretty likely you might give an ex just one more shot now that you're both a little bit older and (hopefully) wiser.
There's a lot of great things about this person and you're happy with them... for now. They're nice, you have the same interests, and maybe even share a friend group, but if you're being truly honest, you don't think they're the one. And that's absolutely fine.
This person is passionate about every cause, attends every march, and never seems to run out of energy. Their compassion is very attractive, and teaming up with this person makes you feel like you two can truly change the world for the better.
When someone has their boundaries continually challenged and crossed, especially when they have made it very clear that’s not comfortable for them…that would be a huge red flag because to me that indicates the other partner doesn’t have a regard for that person’s boundaries.
From there, the list of symptoms of a toxic relationship can range from stonewalling (“where someone just makes themselves completely emotionally unavailable,” in Boucher’s words) to emotional manipulation to physical abuse.
Reaching out for support is huge. Family and friends are great resources. In addition to finding positive friends and family or groups who can support you, consider reaching out for professional help. A therapist not only can help you identify a toxic relationship in the first place, but can also help guide you safely out of the relationship. In the process, you can work to build up your self-esteem, identify and establish the personal boundaries you want to set going forward, and cultivate healthier patterns for intimacy in the future.